She may not be able to double as Julia Roberts, but Jennifer Wilbanks is going to be the butt of many jokes for a long time to come. Maybe rightfully so. Afterall, she sent local authorities on a very expensive and time consuming hunt for something that was never going to be found. She toyed with the emotions of a whole community (and thanks to the big media with nothing else to do, a whole country). There may be a legitimate price to pay for the taxpayer funded wild goose chase.
But let's slow down for a minute. My friend, Fritz Wenzel, a political and media consultant, made a striking observation on his blog (www.heartlandpolitics.com) regarding Ms. Wilbanks. Surely good can be found and grace can be given to this woman who got cold feet and had her second thoughts BEFORE she said her "I do." Now I am rarely one to suspend due process and release someone of the just consequences of breaking the law, but if ever there was a time to be very slow and cautious before pressing charges, this would be it. Think of how much heartache and trauma could be avoided if more people gave serious consideration to the deeply profound implications of saying "I do."
Marriages are a dime a dozen and finding so-called "clergy" that will "perform" them is easier than finding wasted taxpayer money at the local public school board. Americans have such a consumer driven idea of marriage that it will only be a matter of time until you will be able to get your marriage license signed at a drive through window.
This all throws out the Biblical imagery of marriage being the imperfect picture of how Christ perfectly loves His bride, the Church. God has called out for His own glory a people that He will present to Christ as His Bride. Christ endlessly, sacrificially, intentionally loves that Bride, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. And we, His church, are very often, worse, poorer, and sick and yet Christ continues to love us. Even when we cheat on Him with our gods of self, pleasure, dreams, ambitions, etc... He loves us always.
Mr. John Mason, the would-be groom, has modeled a bit this kind of unconditional love. He has insisted that his love for her has in no way diminished. He wants to give her time to work through her problems and proceed with the relational commitment he has made. How many men you know would jump ship even AFTER the wedding if his partner did something like this? Mr. Mason understands the commitment he made and is sticking by it.
I pray that more people will give series consideration to the ramification of marriage before they go to the altar. I make it my goal, in the first counseling session I do with a couple leading up to marrying them, to convince them not to get married. If i can talk them out marriage in a one hour session, they shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
I hope we all learn something from this, regardless of what legal ramifications this might have on Ms. Wilbanks, they are far better than the far reaching devastation that would have resulted from her running a few days after then wedding instead of a few days before.
Grace to You!
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Worship in the Laundry Room
Last week was a great time of vacationing with my family. It was not rushed, packed or harried with a whole list of this to do, see, and experience. It was the kind of vacation where one gets to simply stay home and not go to work. Now for those of you who love your job as much as I do, you realize that being only 15 minutes from your office and yet not checking in is virtually impossible. I managed to only go in twice, just once to teach a class though.
The majority of my vacation time was spent playing with my kids, cleaning my garage and caring for my pregnant wife. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Believe me, she does a good job of taking care of herself and the rest of our family, she hardly needs my help. But, I was home for the week and wanted to give her some time to prop up her feet or lay down her head. I cleaned the kitchen. I picked up after the kids. I gathered the laundry. I swept the living room and dining room. Then… I cleaned the kitchen again. I picked up after the kids again. I gathered the laundry again. I swept the floor again. Every time I turned around there was something to pick up again, something to sweep again. It was getting depressingly repetitive. At one point, I walked to my wife and said to her, “There is no way I could do your job. It is depressing!”
Later that night as I sat on the couch, I thought about how my wife Crystal consistently, patiently serves her role as a wife, mother and homemaker. My wife clearly understands that what she is doing is not simply an act of service to me or to the children, though it is certainly that. It is much more. It is, for her, an act of worship to a beautiful God. Yes, she worships even in the laundry room.
Worship is not limited to what you experience in a large room with a group of people on Sunday morning. Worship is a lifestyle. See Hebrews 13.15,16 “5Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. 16And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
Worship then involves a life that is lived in constant thanksgiving, recognizing that we can do nothing and have nothing of merit apart from God Himself. Even our worship itself is done “through Him” according to verse 15. We have nothing and can do nothing for God apart from God Himself. However, everything we do, must fit this pattern of thankful lips. A life of goodness and sharing is also an act of worship. As we go throughout our days, often routine, sometimes even a mundane, we must recognize we are worshipping something. The question is, what are we praising, who are we thanking, what drives us to do what we do? Are you driven by a desire to glorify yourself… to raise yourself up the corporate ladder? Perhaps you are worshipping your family and would give yourself wholly for the what you deem to be the good of your family. Or perhaps it is your boss. You want to impress and seek a smile from your boss.
We must remember, worship in its purest form occurs in the laundry room of the homemaker, the copy room of the office manager, and on the factory of the blue collar worker. What we do on Sunday morning is simply an overflow of a life of worship. If you approach a worship service anticipating the worship leader to provoke your spirit through song or testimony or in any other way, you are not even ready to think about worshipping, let alone actually worship. Worship is not a song, a sermon or cute sketch in a worship center. To be sure, these can be means of corporate worship, but they are the result of a life of worship… a life of praise, thanksgiving and goodness in our daily routines of life.
How many of us emotionally engage in “worship” on Sunday morning, but never even mention the Lordship and Jesus Christ and the Holiness of God in the daily routines of life. We sing with all our hearts, we even lift our hands in physical expression of what we feel. But those feelings do not translate into worship if they do not affect the lives we live.
Let this be a challenge to you as my wife has been to me. Worship should be the defining characteristic of a Christian life. Does your life point to the God from whom we gain our very life?
Grace to you!
The majority of my vacation time was spent playing with my kids, cleaning my garage and caring for my pregnant wife. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Believe me, she does a good job of taking care of herself and the rest of our family, she hardly needs my help. But, I was home for the week and wanted to give her some time to prop up her feet or lay down her head. I cleaned the kitchen. I picked up after the kids. I gathered the laundry. I swept the living room and dining room. Then… I cleaned the kitchen again. I picked up after the kids again. I gathered the laundry again. I swept the floor again. Every time I turned around there was something to pick up again, something to sweep again. It was getting depressingly repetitive. At one point, I walked to my wife and said to her, “There is no way I could do your job. It is depressing!”
Later that night as I sat on the couch, I thought about how my wife Crystal consistently, patiently serves her role as a wife, mother and homemaker. My wife clearly understands that what she is doing is not simply an act of service to me or to the children, though it is certainly that. It is much more. It is, for her, an act of worship to a beautiful God. Yes, she worships even in the laundry room.
Worship is not limited to what you experience in a large room with a group of people on Sunday morning. Worship is a lifestyle. See Hebrews 13.15,16 “5Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. 16And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
Worship then involves a life that is lived in constant thanksgiving, recognizing that we can do nothing and have nothing of merit apart from God Himself. Even our worship itself is done “through Him” according to verse 15. We have nothing and can do nothing for God apart from God Himself. However, everything we do, must fit this pattern of thankful lips. A life of goodness and sharing is also an act of worship. As we go throughout our days, often routine, sometimes even a mundane, we must recognize we are worshipping something. The question is, what are we praising, who are we thanking, what drives us to do what we do? Are you driven by a desire to glorify yourself… to raise yourself up the corporate ladder? Perhaps you are worshipping your family and would give yourself wholly for the what you deem to be the good of your family. Or perhaps it is your boss. You want to impress and seek a smile from your boss.
We must remember, worship in its purest form occurs in the laundry room of the homemaker, the copy room of the office manager, and on the factory of the blue collar worker. What we do on Sunday morning is simply an overflow of a life of worship. If you approach a worship service anticipating the worship leader to provoke your spirit through song or testimony or in any other way, you are not even ready to think about worshipping, let alone actually worship. Worship is not a song, a sermon or cute sketch in a worship center. To be sure, these can be means of corporate worship, but they are the result of a life of worship… a life of praise, thanksgiving and goodness in our daily routines of life.
How many of us emotionally engage in “worship” on Sunday morning, but never even mention the Lordship and Jesus Christ and the Holiness of God in the daily routines of life. We sing with all our hearts, we even lift our hands in physical expression of what we feel. But those feelings do not translate into worship if they do not affect the lives we live.
Let this be a challenge to you as my wife has been to me. Worship should be the defining characteristic of a Christian life. Does your life point to the God from whom we gain our very life?
Grace to you!
Friday, February 25, 2005
The Best and Most Far Reaching Job in the World...
PARENTING... My wife and I have been thinking a lot lately about the task that God has set before us to raise our children. We what to proactive. We don't want to simply rush around putting out fires, praising success, or punishing the most recent display of rebellion. We want to be very deliberate about bringing Elisabeth, Rebekah and Jonathan up in the nurture and admonishion of the Lord. So we have established a list of goals - specific and measurable - for our child rearing endeavor. We have agreed to sit down monthly and evaluate our parental ministry in light of these goals.
Maybe these goals will be helpful to you. Maybe you can comment on them as to how they have payed out in your parental ministry. Anyway, here they are:
1. To expose them to the gospel, by life and by Word, from a very early age so that they have the opportunity to be saved at an early age.
2. To instill in them a love of family and desire to be an active part of the family unit so that they will contribute to the life and ministry of the family.
3. To teach them the Word of God so that they will allow the Word to dwell in them richly, so that they will develop a Biblical worldview regarding (family, education, ministry, current events, church, etc).
4. To guide them in becoming active, productive citizens so that they may let their light shine before the world so they me see their good deeds and glorify our Father in heaven.
5. To stir up a passion for reaching the unsaved so that they will be active in sharing the hope of the gospel.
6. To encourage faithful stewardship of all God’s resources so that they will honor Him with their time, talents and treasures.
7. To teach them the doctrine of the Church, so that they will desire active participation in and love for their local church at all stages of their life.
8. To challenge them to strive for excellence (academics, extracurricular activities, employment, etc.) in all they do so that God will glorified in the sight of the watching world.
Grace to You!
Maybe these goals will be helpful to you. Maybe you can comment on them as to how they have payed out in your parental ministry. Anyway, here they are:
1. To expose them to the gospel, by life and by Word, from a very early age so that they have the opportunity to be saved at an early age.
2. To instill in them a love of family and desire to be an active part of the family unit so that they will contribute to the life and ministry of the family.
3. To teach them the Word of God so that they will allow the Word to dwell in them richly, so that they will develop a Biblical worldview regarding (family, education, ministry, current events, church, etc).
4. To guide them in becoming active, productive citizens so that they may let their light shine before the world so they me see their good deeds and glorify our Father in heaven.
5. To stir up a passion for reaching the unsaved so that they will be active in sharing the hope of the gospel.
6. To encourage faithful stewardship of all God’s resources so that they will honor Him with their time, talents and treasures.
7. To teach them the doctrine of the Church, so that they will desire active participation in and love for their local church at all stages of their life.
8. To challenge them to strive for excellence (academics, extracurricular activities, employment, etc.) in all they do so that God will glorified in the sight of the watching world.
Grace to You!
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